Friday, November 13, 2015

There's no War on Christmas

Christmas doesn't mean presents to me though nothing pleases me more than a smile on the face of someone I just gave a heartfelt to.

Christmas doesn't mean shopping to me though I love love love Black Friday. 

Christmas doesn't mean Merry Christmas or happy holidays or merry festivus though I say all three to whomever I choose. 

Christmas doesn't mean cheesy Hallmark movies to though I watch them practically every day like they're going extinct. 

Christmas doesn't mean red cups or festive cups or snowflakes on cups though I will spend a tiny fortune on seasonal flavored coffee drinks because they're tasty. 

Christmas to me means giving, laughter, faith, family, FRIENDS, love, twinkling lights, the joy and magic of Santa, Jesus' birth. 

This is the one time of the year I have consistent faith. There's so much good during this season. Do I wish families and veterans and seniors were adopted year round? Absolutely. But it's so lovely to see open hearts and giving even if it is just once a year. 

I have a couple friends that I've just recently had the pleasure of becoming extremely close with. Best friend close. Learning their life story has been such a privilege as well as an eye opener. Never in my life have I met two stronger people. The amount of shit life has given them is absolutely ridiculous. But they're both strong and beautiful and loyal and I've simply never been prouder to call two people my family as I am them. They are what Christmas means to me. Love, courage, faith, resilience, friendship. 

There's no "War on Christmas". There's just you and me. Look beyond what you think is right in front of you. Volunteer. Open your heart. Let it snowball. Be the change.

- Dawny Wendy

Friday, February 13, 2015

50 Shades of Feminism and Judgement

I will preface this entire post by first saying I did not read all three of the Fifty Shades of Grey books. Therefore, my opinion is slightly uninformed. As always, take it or leave it. 

As a mother, I've been tired of the voraciousness of the feminist movement for a long time. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely believe that women should be afforded the same rights as men. But not all men are misogynistic pigs. Not all women are victimized. If a woman goes to a bar with 20 men present, and two men are drunken pigs to her, there's still 18 men that are not. If my husband (and most of the men I know) is present, he's going to defend you and probably defend you to the point of possible harm to himself. 

Now, I'm absolutely not saying there isn't a reason behind the feminist movement. Please understand that. I'm just tired of the fierceness and assumptions that seem to go with it as of late. The assumption that my teenage son is a ball of raging hormones and will demoralize women. The assumption that my husband drinking at the bar will only lead to him cheapening women patrons. 

All that was my roundabout way of getting to my rant about 50 Shades. I didn't like the first book. I thought it was horribly written and just didn't like it. That said, all the news about how women shouldn't see it and how it glorifies abuse pisses me off. The very notion that a woman is going to see the movie and become a submissive victim pisses me off. That notion sets the feminist movement back, IMO. The idea that we as women are so easily persuaded from what we believe is just ridiculous. The idea that we can be so easily indoctrinated is absurd. 

I know what turns me on. The older I get, the more I learn about my body and what I find attractive. But I also know what doesn't turn me on. A pretty face and/or a movie isn't going to change my feelings just because it's a movie.  If it changes my perspective, it's because I'm allowing it to change. It may change because I have the presence of mind to do so, because I'm smart enough to do so. The insinuation otherwise is debasing. 

Instead of lamenting what's bad about the movie, let me tell you what's good about it. It started as Twilight fanfiction. (I'm a nerd and love fanfiction. LOVE fanfiction. I just don't like Twilight) A woman wrote freaking fanfiction, reworked it as an original novel, then published it as an extremely popular original fiction trilogy series. So popular, in fact, that it became a movie. A woman did that. A woman was at the helm of that. I think that is being forgotten in the midst of all of this. 

I'm not going to see the movie. I have no desire to see the movie. I would have been there with bells on if Charlie Hunnam had stayed in the role however. Then I would've gone home and imagined him doing all those things to me, because damn that man is freaking yummy. But it still wouldn't have changed my mind that BDSM is not for me in actuality. 

I'll stick with the real movie I'm excited about this year. The movie I myself plan to leer at the men and look at them as sexual objects. Bring on Magic Mike 2!