Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Worth and Grace

For the most part, I've always considered myself to be a strong person. I do what I can to help others and do my best to work through issues to better the lives of my family. But lately, I've come to the realization that I'm not doing what I need to do to better myself. By that, I don't mean lose weight, quit smoking or whatnot. Those are obvious. I need to start with how I feel about myself, what I feel I deserve, and that inner voice we all have. 

We all defend those we love voraciously, no one moreso than myself. I will throw down over my boys, husband, family, and friends. But oftentimes I'm not willing to do that for myself. I allow myself to be taken for granted, talked to a certain way, treated callously, etc... Do I not feel I'm worthy of being treated better? Do I feel subconsciously that I've done something to deserve that treatment? I don't know. It's something I've really been thinking about. 

I guess, in true mom fashion, it keeps going back to my boys. I don't know that I can truly teach and help my boys to know when to stand up for themselves and others if I'm not able to distinguish that line for myself. I don't know that I can help my boys find their inner strength and grace if I'm not sure where mine is. 

I think I have a lot of work to do. 

 -Dawny Wendy

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