I love...no adore my children. They are my life and I spend pretty much 24/7 with them. Homeschooling is a choice we made for our kids because each one has different needs and not that there are not AMAZING teachers out there but I know them best and how they tick so for right now this is what works for us.
The Bigs(my 5 and 7 year olds) both have a traumatic past, couple that with attachment issues and you have RAD. They push my limits every day. They lie about me. They swear at me. They blame me for everything that has happened to them. So no matter how much I do, and hug and squeeze...I'm still the one they attack day after day. There are days this makes me very sad. There are days I feel frustrated and that it's unfair. But mostly I just want to help them mend and heal.
Needless to say every once in awhile I need a break. This makes me feel incredibly guilty. I struggle with taking the much needed break but every time I do I come back a bit stronger and more patient.
I recently took the Lils( my 3 and 4 year olds) and went to visit my Bestie in San Diego.
There is nothing like a girl friend who just is family. D is my sister. It's easy, we don't have to try. We spend our time effortlessly and I don't feel the need to explain myself or my choices as a parent. She's been part of the kids lives pretty much since we got them and they adore her. I trust her. I appreciate her. I love her.
For the first time in months I slept while I was there. She has a new place and she has made it a home. Even the Punkies were comfy and they don't do change at all.
We are now home. The Bigs pulled a lot of crap the 3 days I was gone but I feel calm, and in tune with what needs to be done. I left the guilt at the airport and feel like I am ready to give them what they need.
I am blessed to have several friends who are a huge support to me. My girls and I talk daily via Facebook and text. My tribe checks in with my on a regular basis and I share my world with them through this blog,the phone and again Facebook.
Again there is nothing better than a few days with the Bestie to kick my butt and revive me!