Wednesday, March 27, 2013


When we moved to this new house in January, it needed some work. The landlord is a lovely woman but lives rather far away so some of the cleaning fell to me. I was ok with that actually, I have kids and if I cleaned it, I KNEW it would be clean. Problem was, the previous renters must have smoked like chimneys because there was tar and nicotine everywhere. CAKED onto the windows. It was horrible. The windows were tinged yellow and it was just gross. Nothing worked. Windex with ammonia, vinegar, etc... I was distressed to say the least.

The house came with a handyman of sorts. I idly mentioned the windows to him and he told me to go to Dollar General and get Awesome. He waxed melodic on Awesome for ten minutes. I figured it couldn't hurt so ran to the store and picked it up. I was very cynical because a spray bottle of 20 ounces concentrate was only a buck. Really? I called bullshit but figured for only a dollar it couldn't hurt.

Now this bottle says no acid, no ammonia, no bleach, non flammable. It's a completely non-descript bottle with bare bones packaging. It does not strike the eye! The back lists the dilution scale and says for nicotine buildup not to dilute. So I tried it. And to be honest? I fell off the chair.

The nicotine and tar on the windows literally started dripping off. It cut through it immediately. I literally had clear stripes on my window as the liquid broke through the nicotine and dripped down. I ferociously attacked the rest of my windows with glee.

I didn't think I would use the stuff again save for window cleaning until the other day. Last weekend I rearranged my chest freezer. I accidentally left a bag of frozen blueberries out. I didn't realize it until four days later. The bag had popped open and blueberry juice was on my beautiful new cream colored carpet. And not just juice but fermented juice. Gross!! I grabbed the Awesome, sprayed and doused the stain then walked to the kitchen to get a bowl of hot water to scrub it. I was gone a minute, tops. By the time I walked back, the Awesome had broke down the pigment completely. Completely. It was a light blue color. I cleaned it with hot water and the stain was completely gone. No shit.

If you have kids, run to Dollar General. The spray bottle is a buck, a gallon concentrate is three. The people who made this product are freaking geniuses. For lack of a better word, they're Awesome.

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