I love my girl friends We spend the day texting and messaging about various topics but the common theme that comes up daily from all of them is us discussing weight...How to lose weight, working out, what we're eating, what everyone else is eating, someone we know just doesn't eat, someone we know had "the surgery", we have nothing to wear, we only wear yoga pants and hoodies that are 3 sizes to big......WE are obsessed!
I have always been a big girl, well I'm totally short but I am fat. I have always been fat. I most likely will always be fat by societies standards. I would like to get more healthy. I want to live a long time for my Punkies but I have no illusions that I am going to look like Demi Moore in a bikini.
The thing that bothers me is listening to my girls talk about how they feel about themselves, they are beautiful women! But because they don't look like they did when they were 20 with no kids or pressures that they face today. Don't have time to run that 10 miles before they rush off to work and don't eat all day then have 3 glasses of wine for dinner before they jump on the treadmill to do an hour while they catch up on their favorite shows...They don't have the same bodies, or metabolizism or time.....So they think somehow that makes them fat, ugly and undesirable. Don't get me wrong I have my hang ups about myself, but these women are beautiful and I think if I asked their husbands/partners they would tell me they still think they are sexy as all get out.
So that gets me thinking, I know! Trouble right?! Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we beat ourselves up? So I started listening a little closer to what was being said..."So and So spends 2 hours a day working out", "I have no time so I ate a burger at Mc D's when I got the kids happy pails", "I was so stressed out about seeing the girls from high school I didn't eat for a week then ate a loaf of bread the next day".....I recently started writing down everything I put in my mouth and you don't realize how much you just throw in as you are cleaning off the table( I don't have time for dinner but I ate the Punkies last 4 french fries)...
We need to be more gentle on ourselves and on each other as women! I am not saying fat is good for me, but I will never be the size 0 that the magazines say I should be. I have a real life with real stresses and no time. Again, I want to be healthy and I will most likely never stop obsessing but I hope I can find a place with my girl friends that we can learn to love our bodies and stop worrying about what that group over there is saying! I want my daughter to be healthy and happy and I gotta keep reminding myself that its me and my girls that are teaching her!
xo Nicci Wendy